Wall Street Examiner Forums and Bears Chat: Stocks Surge as Santa Claus Rally Begins - Wall Street Examiner Forums and Bears Chat

Stocks took off like a bat out hell today in a classic Loch Ness/Frozen Flag fashion as the "double dip" camp downgraded their outlook to "soft serve."



As for the Loch Ness pattern, it was a classic Nessie. Sometimes the "neck" is 50 points, sometimes 100 points, and like today, 230 points. As Trader Joe mentioned on the Capitalstool.com forum, "this is the stoopidest thing I've ever seen.' Another way to describe today's action, which was supposed to have been triggered by some ratsheet ISM "number", is think about the movie "Goodfellas", the classic mafia movie starring Ray Liotta, Robert DiNero, and Joe Pesci. Remember that scene when Ray Liotta was describing how "Paulie" ripped off the vendors of the restaurant he wanted no part of. He'd steal stuff from his vendors then go in to collect his money and say "eff you, pay me." Well, if you didn't get in front of this move today, after the first hour, today was an "eff you pay me day." The pigmen are not gonna let you in without inflicting pain by forcing you to buy high. No pullbacks till we get shanked. Then CNBS will tell you that it's a "pause to refresh". Blow me.

Anyone cover car sales? No. What about private companies canning people? No. What about the FCIC hearing? Huh? You know, the one where the CEO of Lehman Brothers was on to say who would have failed if they didn't go under?

Screw it...Santa Claus is coming to town. I'm hanging my lights up and it's 90 foulking degrees.



Anyway, I thought I'd make up today's excuse for the wire services and just pre announce that the Santa Claus Rally has begun in September. Hey why not ? Halloween sucks. I want to be the first one to have to wait in line overnight at Walgreens in September to get 3 for 1 on "Tucks". This would be a great marketing tool for Crapvision to say the Santa Rally has started. You know the financial media is gonna jam "stuff' down our throats this year so why not start now ? I'm a marketing genius!

In other news, "Gadget-vangelist" Steve "I Create 'Jobs' in China" captivated an audience of twelve step carpel tunnel addicts, introducing a sheetload of new stuff to "camp"overnight for. I have no farking idea what this company is doing any more.

"Sir I'd like to join the movement."

"Great ! What release would you like ? 1,2,3,4,5,6,,7,8 or 9 ?"

"10 is coming out tomorrow and it poos for you."

Crapple is mass producing gadgets like rabbits. I can crap and print ! Woo Hoo ! And Crapvision had 6 Dicks in A Box for most of the day discussing it. There's always one guy you'd like to punch too. I'm sorry. I am sick of Crapple. Sorry too if I offended anyone but this is retarded.

Anyway, as today's Santa Claus rally started, the FCIC was holding hearings about the Financial Crisis. You remember don't you? That was when the mafia families left standing stole your money? Well, no one knows about it but I'm on it and will report tomorrow what happened. You see, the FCIC stands for Financial Crisis Investigative Club. They are a group of people hand picked to ask stoopid questions, slap criminals on the wrist, say "bad dog!", and write a letter in December. Kind of like every other commission we have ever had.

As for bears, I actually think tomorrow will be interesting. We have three "stoopid" numbers that could potentially add or subtract billions of market cap from our lotto balls.