Lost/Fast Money- Understanding the Language on Bullish Days

Subscribe to Take My Stock

07 September 2010

1 Comments

Posted by Ags Nightmare

It's important that you, the viewer, get a handle on what the gurus are really saying when Marrissa starts grilling the panel of "experts" mid day and after hours on Lost/Fast Money. Typically Guy and Tim are after hours experts as they are trading their ass off during the day in some closet. I have no idea what firm they work for as every ex-bubble pundit seems to end up in some obscure private practice like Griswold, Hulka and Blutarski.

Ever see the sketch on Saturday Night Live called the "Subliminal Man?" That's what Lost Money is all about. The seeds are planted in your head to grow or wilt in the remaining minutes of the day. I see no other purpose. Do you? You have no time to think, just react. Be bold. Be confident! Be the ball. I believe in me.The picks? They have the life expectancy of a house fly.

Your brain will be tested again and again by the chop shop one decision dart throwers. It can be as exciting as bungee jumping or as humiliating as wiping out on roller blades in front of a group of teenagers when you are 50 years old. Especially when you see them laughing at you and your twig and berries are hanging out. I know. You think that happened to me, right? It was some other guy. I laughed. Hahahahahaha...

Let's check it out. I'll be the guide. Follow me and strap in for... (cue the stoopid music) Lost Money Mid Day.

Boom chaga lacka... Boom chagga lacka... Boom chaga lacka...

Let's look at a typical show on "bullish" days. These are days when the market gaps up on low volume then freezes like an ice sculpture for five hours. No pressure on the panel whatsoever to say we are going down. The Frozen Flag pattern which I discussed in a previous post can be recognized by the Beardstown Ladies.

Marrissa (Marrissa is actually pretty smart unlike Erin who would miss the $100 dollar question on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire): So Pete what do you like?

Pete N. (Pony Tail One..... in one breath): Well... if you look at A... and if you look at B... and if you look at C... and if you look at D... and if you look at F... and if you look at G... and if you look at H... and if you look at I ... and if you look at Intel's warning... and if you look J... and if you look at K... and if you look at L... you just gotta buy M! That "space" is where you have to be!

Me: Wtf is a "space"? Dude, breathe! Ever notice how "space" has survived the first bubble and is one of the most overused bullish bullsheet indicators since Dr. Koop went public? How about the "space" IVillage.com was in? Right now, "Clouds" are the "space" to be in. Or in regular language. Storage, like EMC.

Marrisa: What about you Joe the Liquidator?

Me: The Liquidator? Come on. I Know. This is supposed to be a bullish analysis, but Liquidator? Let's light this candle.

Joe T. ( Eddie): Well, you gotta look at Potash. I own Potash here and I'm buying more Potash and I want more Potash tomorrow. I also like Chiner and "gold" (Me: Noooooooooooooooooo!!!) Chiner may make a play on Potash because I bought Potash and want you to know that I bought more Potash today after looking at my Potash position. Potash is the only way to go and if you buy more Potash you will be happy. You just gotta take this one home with you. Own it, caress it, Potash. Potash is what you gotta take home... Potash. There, I said it. Potash. I'll say it again, Potash.. .Pota...(Marrissa cuts him off)

Marrissa: Thanks! What about you Doctor J.

John N. (Pony Tail Two or Ming): Well Marrissa, the VIX is going up so I'm bullish and saw someone buy one million weekly option puts at the money on Crapple. That to me is a bullish indicator that someone is betting down by writing a Hummingbird Spread on the the 290's and the 220's. The break even is at 300 with two days to go so I'm getting long.

Marrissa: Ok Great. Karen, do you like Bank Of America here or any of the financial stocks?

Karen F. ( I Don't Know): Well... I Don't Know.

Marrissa: Thanks Karen. Now on to Patty. What are you buying ?

Patty E. ( Miss. Apple Dipper 2010): Well.... I kind of like the retail stocks.... Maybe... Saks and Nordstroms should be good 'cause rich people are still rich. I also think we could fall a lot and expect us to to be up a ton short term so your guess is as good as mine but I like everything.

Marrissa: Super. Ok folks. Call the close. Petey...

Petey: "If you look at the... if you look at the ... if you look at the... if you look at the... if you look at the... if you look at the... if you look at the...

Marrissa: Thanks Pete.....On to Joe the Liquidator.

Joe T ( Eddie): Potash. You gotta take Potash home with you.

Marrissa: Thanks Joe. Dr. J ?

John N. (Ming): I'm going home longer than the Golden Gate Bridge.

Marrissa: Karen?

Karen ( I Don't Know): Well... I don't know... I might.... uh... I... uh... just don't know...

Marrissa: Patty ? What's your call ?

Patty E. ( Token Chick ): Well I'm going home long unless we go down and I'm selling the close.

Cue the stoopid music...

Marrissa: Stay tuned for Power Lunch and join us tonight when we will be looking at how Bernie Madoff eats food in prison!